Cheez and Krackers

7758 Cheez and Crackers in Camo_2 2wms

I looked out back yesterday and I saw these two characters sitting in the sun so I went down to investigate.

I asked them why they were wearing camouflage outfits and they told me they had heard it was hunting season.

I explained that, at this time, it’s illegal to hunt cows and monkeys. 

They didn’t believe me and told me that I was going to attract hunters, big game hunters and asked me to leave. 

I’m extremely offended right now and am going on a diet.

 

HELLOOOOOO Turkeys!

8304 Flock of Turkeys two WM work (39 of 1)

So it’s official…I’m a fan of turkeys. Not to eat. Well I do like to eat turkey, but don’t tell them that.

The little turkeys of spring are all grown up. I can’t tell Betty from Joe, LaDonna from Jim, Zizzle from Hans. It doesn’t matter about their names, I love them all…they’re like the turkey children I never had.

I can tell you all kinds of things about turkeys now…I’ve spent a lot of time the past couple of weeks watching them traipse back and forth through the woods and they’re fascinating. One attractive trait…they’re very kind to each other. I’ll share some more turkey traits with you later. But for now, enjoy the lovely wingspan that gets displayed after a nap. (They take a LOT of naps.)

 

 

 

Barbie, but not squirrels?

WM Just hanging out

I’m not terribly happy about the bias I see regarding Barbie the doll and squirrels.

First of all, Barbie isn’t real and yet there are chairs made for her…kitchen sets, beds, briefcases, purses, earrings, clothes, cars, bikes, shoes, houses, you see what I’m getting at.

There is a huge market that the folks fixated on Barbie are ignoring, which leaves a HUUGGE opportunity for someone who wants to make a fortune in the squirrel market.

Squirrels are REAL and they could actually use furniture. They can bend their knees to pedal those bikes they make for Barbie.I’m sure with just a few lessons they could drive a car. Look at the poor squirrel in the picture above, I’m sure it would be so happy to have a sofa to lounge on. 

A lot of muscular squirrels could start a moving company, some squirrels seem kind of scrawny and I don’t think they’d have the strength to get a chair or a piano up into a tree.

So there’s my pitch for better living for squirrels. They’re more than just a pretty face and long legs.

 

WHAT YOUR GARDEN IS REALLY TALKING ABOUT…

7069

 

(I know this little story is all kinds of a mess grammatically speaking, along with all kinds of other improper treatment of the english language…but you know me…when the mood strikes, watch out…I’ll write anything. Apologizing in advance…)

I WAS QUITE PLEASED WITH MY JOB IN MY NEW GARDEN HOME, THE GARDENER CALLED ME IMPORTANT, BUT HER VOICE HELD A “TONE”.

SETTLED IN, I DISCOVERED A POT WITH A SQUIRREL CLINGING TO IT…I DECIDED TO ASK IF THE POT EVEN KNEW IT.

“HEY-HO LITTLE CLAY, WHO’S THE FRIEND ON YOUR HEAD?”

“A COMPLETE STRANGER TO ME,” THE LITTLE POT SAID.

“DO YOU CARE THAT IT’S FEET MIGHT BE DIRTY AND YUCKY?” 

“NOT A BIT,” SAID THE POT. “I COUNT MYSELF LUCKY.”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND,” I QUESTIONED AGAIN. “YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE THOSE FEET MIGHT HAVE BEEN.”

“SQUIRREL FEET ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A FLOWER…WITH THEM COME DEMANDS, AT LEAST ONE AN HOUR.”

THE POT WASN’T FINISHED, IT WAS JUST GETTING STARTED…THE CHAT I’D ENJOYED WAS NO LONGER LIGHT-HEARTED.

“A FLOWER COMPLAINS, ‘I’M TOO DRY, I’M TOO WET…WHY HASN’T SOMEONE THROWN MULCH ON ME YET? TO TOP IT ALL OFF, IT GROWS ROOTS THAT ARE FICKLE AND AFTER A WHILE THOSE ROOTS START TO TICKLE.

STILL…I’D STILL RATHER BE ME, I’M SO GLAD I’M NOT YOU,” THE POT SAID WITH CONVICTION THAT REALLY RANG TRUE.

“I’M OFFENDED!” I CHALLENGED. THE POT JUST LOOKED WISER.

“YOU DO KNOW OF COURSE, THAT YOU’RE FERTILIZER?