In my official capacity as a judge of squirrel jumping, I’ve seen many jumps and I would give this leap very high marks. I would like to see the front legs a little straighter, but other judges consider this acceptable so I’ll let it slide.
I did want to address the minor violation…accessories are not allowed in jumping contests and the peanut falls into that category. However… this was such an audacious bit of flair that I added a point.
WAIT A MINUTE!
THERE WILL BE NO ODE TO SPRING UNTIL THIS FLUFFY WHITE STUFF STOPS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY.
WHEN I SEE SNOW, I JUST DON’T HAVE AN ODE IN ME. I WILL POUT NOW.
THIS IS AN APPROXIMATELY UP-TO-DATE REPORT FROM ME, SQUIGGY…YOUR SOURCE FOR ALL THE NEWS THAT IS THE NEWS AND LOTS OF STUFF THAT ISN’T NEWS.
FRESH OUT OF THE MOUTH OF A RELIABLE SOURCE…(WELL ACTUALLY I HEARD IT YESTERDAY…FROM A FRIEND OF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND)..IS THIS SHOCKING NEWS…
A LARGE QUANTITY OF PEANUTS DISAPPEARED FROM THE POPULAR, BUT HIGHLY OVER-RATED FEEDING STATION, “ZANNYRO’S DINE AND DASH.”
WITNESSES REPORT SEEING A STEADY STREAM OF TUFTED TITMICE, (YES..THAT IS A TYPE OF REAL BIRD), RAIDING THE PEANUT SUPPLY HOUSE. OUR WITNESSES SAW THE GANG OF TITMICE FLY TO THE WOODS AND THEN, AND I QUOTE, “THEY WERE GONE.”
THIS KIND OF MADNESS MUST BE STOPPED. SEVERAL BLUE JAYS WERE REPORTED TO HAVE GONE TO BED HUNGRY THAT NIGHT AND ONE WOODPECKER HAD TO RESORT TO LOOKING FOR INSECTS TO EAT IN THE TREE BARK… WHERE IT NORMALLY WOULD.
I WOULD REPORT ON THE WEATHER, BUT AS YOU CAN SEE BY LOOKING AT ME…IT’S BEEN SNOWING…SO WHY STATE THE OBVIOUS.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, THAT MASTER OF TAP DANCE, PEACHES THE PINE SQUIRREL, WILL BE PERFORMING AT ZANNYRO’S DINE AND DASH…WE JUST DON’T KNOW WHEN…SO MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS EARLY!
TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR MORE BREAKING NEWS…THERE MAY BE SOME,BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.
IF YOU’RE A CHIPMUNK, YOU DON’T KNOW FEAR…AND YOU NEVER GIVE UP…
LOOKS LIKE THE CHIPMUNK LOST, DOESN’T IT??
THINK AGAIN, MY FRIEND, THINK AGAIN…
I’M TELLING YOU…I SAW A PEANUT THISSSSS BIG!!!!