YOU SAW WHAT IN THE BACKYARD???????????????

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THIS, MY DEAR FRIENDS, IS WHAT YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE IN YOUR BACKYARD…YES….A MOUNTAIN LION….CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING FROM WHERE YOU ARE?  

THIS BACKYARD IS ONLY ABOUT FOUR  MILES FROM MY BACKYARD.

THERE HAVE BEEN RUMORS OVER THE YEARS OF A MOUNTAIN LION IN OUR AREA…WE ARE IN THE MID-WEST…NOT THE WILD WEST…WE DON’THAVE MOUNTAINS AND BIG ROCK PERCHES FOR MOUNTAIN LIONS TO..WELL..PERCH ON. THIS BEING THE CASE, I DON’T KNOW WHY THEY WOULD LIKE LIVING HERE.

THIS PAST SATURDAY,ROCK PERCHES OR NO ROCK PERCHES… PROOF FINALLY EXISTS THAT THIS CAT IS LIVING AMONG US….EEEEYYYYAAAHHHHHH!!!!

NO WAY IS THIS A COYOTE…THEY DON’T HAVE TAILS LIKE THIS, THEY DON’T HAVE A HEAD SHAPED LIKE THIS.

THIS WAS TAKEN AT 1:30 PM….BY PEOPLE THAT I KNOW….THEY WERE VISITING WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS, SITTING ON THE PATIO…….  SITTING ON THE PATIO…….NOW SEE, THAT’S WHERE I’M VERY DIFFERENT FROM THESE FOLKS….I WOULD BE FREAKING OUT ON THE PATIO!!

AFTER THAT…WELL, I MIGHT BE DRINKING IN MY CLOSET.

LOOK AT HOW BIG THAT ANIMAL IS…EVEN AT SUCH A DISTANCE IT’S OBVIOUS THAT IT’S LARGE…..LARGE!……I WOULD NOW LIKE AN EXTREMELY LARGE CHOCOLATE BAR TO HELP WITH MY ANXIETY….

NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK MY DOG…WE’RE GOING TO NEED SOME SORT OF PROTECTION….TWO YEARS AGO, I AM FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT I SAW THIS CAT BESIDE MY GARAGE AT THE EDGE OF THE WOODS.

I WENT TO THE LOCAL SPORTING GOODS STORE TO FIND SOME PROTECTION, BUT THEY DON’T SELL BEAR SPRAY…THEY HAD A BIG MACHETE TYPE THING, BUT I’D PROBABLY END UP CUTTING MY LEG OFF.

HERE’S A CLOSE UP FOR YOUR SCRUTINY…NOT A GREAT SHOT…BUT I’M ASSUMING THIS WAS TAKEN WITH A CELL PHONE.

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NOW PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO FIND A ROCK TO PERCH ON IN MY CLOSET….ALONG WITH A LIQUID BEVERAGE…I HAVE SOME MORE SCREAMING TO DO.