(INTO THE WOODS AND BEYOND!)
I looked out back yesterday and I saw these two characters sitting in the sun so I went down to investigate.
I asked them why they were wearing camouflage outfits and they told me they had heard it was hunting season.
I explained that, at this time, it’s illegal to hunt cows and monkeys.
They didn’t believe me and told me that I was going to attract hunters, big game hunters and asked me to leave.
I’m extremely offended right now and am going on a diet.
Now this is an example of monkey gone wild. Such behavior!! When I saw this I was personally offended…and then I got to thinking..
As far as the assault taking place in this image…I want to know where the monkey police were when this crime took place…
Were they out having a banana break? Were they out taking pony rides? Were they throwing unmentionable monkey debris at the tourists that were visiting the zoo?
Whatever the reason, I feel that the offending monkey police officers should have their badges taken away from them and they should be made to work the stroller rental booth.
As far as the obviously overly aggressive monkey…well!…That monkey needs to wear a little sign for one week that says, “I am a naughty monkey…do not blow me kisses or call me ‘cutie’ or tickle my chin. I am on monkey probation and these things are forbidden.”
As far as the “victim monkey”…I think that this little monkey should get a free manicure and pedicure. I think that the monkey should get to ride on the carousel horses as many times as it wants. I think that it should get to play with the penguins and hang out in the bat cave with the bats. I think it should be able to press its face up against the glass in the lion viewing area and even lick the glass if it wants to. I think it should get a free t-shirt that says, “I am a good little monkey…you may blow me kisses, have your picture taken with me and you can buy me ice cream…you may even peel me a grape.”
I’m not sure that all of the above would fit on a t-shirt, but I think the monkey deserves a t-shirt to wear when he’s with the other mean monkey later on……even if it just says, “I’m with stupid” on it.
A WINDOW INTO THE WOODS 