LIAR, LIAR.

3586 I want up there SO bad! (39 of 1)

I admit it…I eavesdropped on another animal conversation, or perhaps I just imagined it. So I’ll translate what was “said”, or use my mind reading abilities as best I can.

In this first photo, I just missed capturing a picture of the little guys lips moving. Let’s begin reviewing the conversation..

“What’s up there? What is it? I smell peanuts, I’m sure of it…HEY! Don’t pretend you can’t see me down here.”

3522 I bet I could climb up this (39 of 1)

“Well that just does it. I’m coming up, I’m going to find a way up there and then we’ll just see what you’re hogging for yourself.”

3548 Want some help shorty? (39 of 1)

The bigger raccoon finally had something to say.

“Don’t you come up here, there’s nothing up here. I’m just tidying up this bowl thingy, it looked dirty.”

3526 Well look at you, trying to climb up here like a big boy (39 of 1)

“Well, if it’s just dirty, why do I smell peanuts on your breath?”

3549 You can do it! Grab my paw. (39 of 1)

Big raccoon started to get aggravated. “I smell like peanuts because I just ate a peanut flavored breath mint. Now get back down there!”

3528 Oooh, I'm slipping! (39 of 1)

The little raccoon begged to differ. “I just saw peanut shells stuck to your nose, I AM coming up!” As you can see, the big bandit was trying to impede his progress.

3536 Now be careful, you push me out! (39 of 1)

A little snarling was followed by ungraciousness. “You only think you made it up here, anything can happen.”

3540 Watch out for that first step (39 of 1)

Two seconds later, the big raccoon spoke right to me.  “I did NOT push him off, he slipped.”

I didn’t buy this version of events, right after making such a ludicrous statement, the big raccoon smiled at me and stuck a peanut in it’s mouth.

 

NO SNOW MOTEL…

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all rights reserved.

It doesn’t have running water, but it is free to stay there…I’m not sure how many deer we can cram in there, but I’m thinking about fifty, (just kidding). Seeing that we’re supposed to get 150 inches of snow tonight and 500 inches tomorrow, (once again, just kidding). I thought that I’d open up the shed for any animals looking to get off the road and ride out the storm in comfort. If they want to watch TV or forgot their toothbrush, there WILL be a charge for that……OH! And any pizza delivery is an extra $1.

Stay safe everybody!!

TODAYS RECIPE…HOW TO MAKE SUGAR COVERED SQUIRRELS…

Since recipe blogs are so popular in the blog world, I decided to share a few of mine with all of you. If you can’t find all of the ingredients, don’t worry about it, the recipe probably isn’t going to turn out anyway.

First you find a squirrel that is between four and six inches tall and weighs about four ounces.

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all rights reserved.

Next, tell him that you plan to fill a paper bag with powdered sugar, then you will put him into it and shake him around vigorously. Do not respond to any of the swearing that he does, it just makes them swear more.

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all rights reserved.

Present the squirrel with a visual aide, just to let him know what it would be like in the bag.

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all rights reserved.

Before he can consider his options, snatch him up and shake him in the bag…for at least fifteen minutes. When the timer goes off, pour him out of the bag. You should have a tasty little sugar covered squirrel who is quite happy with his appearance. Makes 0 servings. (Remember, be kind to animals.)

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all rights reserved.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN…

Dancing Jays      7255 (1 of 1)

I’m not sure if these two were fighting over the peanut or just having a good time…Actually, I think Blue Jay number one…the one with the peanut, is horrified by the fact that Blue Jay number 2 is zooming in to take possession of the peanut. If it were ME, I would go into a flumpty-lumpty sky diving maneuver and evade the clutches of the peanut thief. But that’s just me.

Dancing Jays      7256 (1 of 1)

I’m looking at this image and wondering what Blue Jay number 1 said to Blue Jay number 2 to make him give up the chase. It must have been something really threatening, or pitiful, or rude. It could have been, “I’m telling your Mother on you.” It could have been, “I put my spit all over this peanut…do you still want it?” It could have been, “I’m taking this peanut home to my pregnant bird wife. She’s having terrible peanut butter cravings…do you really want to mess with a husband who better have a peanut with him when he gets home?”
Or it could have been, “Eating peanuts will make you pregnant.”

Sigh….we’ll never know….

SHAKESPEARE IN THE WOODS…

OH ROMEO 1

” ROMEO, ROMEO. WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO?”—–William Shakespeare

I am trying to get upeth to your balcony..

HANG ON A MINUTE…I AM TRYING TO CLIMB UPETH TO THOU’S BALCONY…Not Shakespeare.

Under loves heavy burden do I sink

“UNDER LOVES HEAVY BURDEN DO I SINK”…William Shakespeare.

AND NOW HERE COMES THE A BAD GUY…

A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES- William Sharkespeare

“A PLAGUE A’ BOTH YOUR HOUSES”…William Shakespeare

 

I HOPETH THAT SHAKESPEARE IS NOT ROLLING IN HIS GRAVETH.