Tag: diner

THE SQUIGGY REPORT…LIVE’ISH FROM SQRL…THE IMAGINATION STATION.

Birds, Peanuts, Squirrel

squiggy the reporter with lots of snow

 

THIS IS AN APPROXIMATELY UP-TO-DATE REPORT FROM ME, SQUIGGY…YOUR SOURCE FOR ALL THE NEWS THAT IS THE NEWS AND LOTS OF STUFF THAT ISN’T NEWS.

FRESH OUT OF THE MOUTH OF A RELIABLE SOURCE…(WELL ACTUALLY I HEARD IT YESTERDAY…FROM A FRIEND OF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND)..IS THIS SHOCKING NEWS…

A LARGE QUANTITY OF PEANUTS DISAPPEARED FROM THE POPULAR, BUT HIGHLY OVER-RATED FEEDING STATION, “ZANNYRO’S DINE AND DASH.”

WITNESSES REPORT SEEING A STEADY STREAM OF TUFTED TITMICE, (YES..THAT IS A TYPE OF REAL BIRD), RAIDING THE PEANUT SUPPLY HOUSE.  OUR WITNESSES SAW THE GANG OF TITMICE FLY TO THE WOODS AND THEN, AND I QUOTE, “THEY WERE GONE.”

THIS KIND OF MADNESS MUST BE STOPPED. SEVERAL BLUE JAYS WERE REPORTED TO HAVE GONE TO BED HUNGRY THAT NIGHT AND ONE WOODPECKER HAD TO RESORT TO LOOKING FOR INSECTS TO EAT IN THE TREE BARK… WHERE IT NORMALLY WOULD.

I WOULD REPORT ON THE WEATHER, BUT AS YOU CAN SEE BY LOOKING AT ME…IT’S BEEN SNOWING…SO WHY STATE THE OBVIOUS.

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, THAT MASTER OF TAP DANCE, PEACHES THE PINE SQUIRREL, WILL BE PERFORMING AT ZANNYRO’S DINE AND DASH…WE JUST DON’T KNOW WHEN…SO MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS EARLY!

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR MORE BREAKING NEWS…THERE MAY BE SOME,BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.

 

NO JELLY? NO JAM?

Birds, Squirrel
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY JELLY? IF YOU'VE GOT PEANUTS AND YOU CHEW THEM UP REAL MUSHY, THEN YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE JELLY TO GO WITH IT!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON’T HAVE ANY JELLY? IF YOU’VE GOT PEANUTS AND YOU CHEW THEM UP REAL MUSHY, THEN YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE JELLY TO GO WITH IT!

Once in a while, I’ll come across a resident of the woods who has unusual diet demands. This character is quite the persnickety diner. I’ll put out peanuts and sunflower seeds and of course, that’s just not good enough. I’m asked why I don’t have bananas available.

I might put out a fabulous selection of fruit, and berries…but noooooo, couldn’t the kitchen please whip up some peanut butter cookies?

Another thing that is a source of contention…corn. If I put out cornbread, they would prefer corn fritters. If I put out hard shelled corn, they go on strike…they want little corn chips.

I’m to the point that I don’t care if I lose a customer…I can no longer tolerate such interference with,and manipulation of, my menu.

From now on, it’s my way or the highway……TO ALL MY FURRY AND FEATHERED FRIENDS OUT THERE…STAY AWAY FROM THE HIGHWAY!! I DIDN’T MEAN AN ACTUAL HIGHWAY!!!