(INTO THE WOODS AND BEYOND!)
My given name’s Sophia,
And I wouldn’t wanna be ‘ya
Cause I’m happy as a clam
Just being who I am.
I’ve got a cozy little burrow
And a friend who’s NOT a squirrel.
So there’s nothing that I need
Well…perhaps some fruit and seed
And on reflection I say, “know what?”
I would accept a donut.
I thought I heard a little voice calling to me from outside, so I put down the sequins, (don’t ask) and went to investigate.
“Hello?” I called from the window.
“Hello.” The words came from a little chipmunk sitting in a clay pot. “If you wouldn’t mind, could you please fill this bowl? Birdseed would be good, but I have a hankering for a cheeseburger if you have one in your pocket.”
I always thought a conversation with an animal from the woods would be a lot more inspirational.
NOW DON’T THINK TOO POORLY OF ME, BUT I WAS EAVESDROPPING ON THE CONVERSATION THE CHIPMUNK AND THE PINE SQUIRREL WERE HAVING.
YOU CAN SEE THAT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE LISTENING IN…THAT SQUIRREL IN THE BACKGROUND WASN’T EVEN TRYING TO HIDE THE FACT THAT IT WAS.
THE PINE SQUIRREL SAID SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF, “HEY…PIPSQUEAK…LISTEN UP! THESE FEEDERS AREN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US…VAMOOSE!”
TO WHICH THE CHIPMUNK REPLIED…
“HOW’S THIS? IS THIS ANY BETTER? I ONLY HAVE MY TOES IN THE FEEDER…JUST ONE FOOT OF TOES…”
I NEVER DID FIND OUT HOW THIS CONFRONTATION RESOLVED ITSELF…I WAS CALLED AWAY TO BREAK UP A BIRD FIGHT ON THE DECK OUTSIDE OF THE KITCHEN.
EVERYBODY’S EITHER IN LOVE OR CRANKY WHEN SPRING ROLLS AROUND.
I WAS MERELY LOOKING OUT OF MY WINDOW…THIS CHIPMUNK WAS LOOKING AT ME OUT OF IT’S WINDOW…WELL, IT DOESN’T ACTUALLY HAVE A WINDOW…BUT I GOT THE MESSAGE…”DID I INVITE YOU TO INVADE MY PRIVACY?”
MY FEELINGS WERE HURT…AFTER ALL, I PROVIDE “CHIP” THE OCCASIONAL FIVE POUND BAG OF PEANUTS.
I CLEAN UP AFTER HIM WHEN HE LEAVES PEANUT SHELLS ALL OVER THE DECK.
I SAY, “OH…AREN’T YOU CUTE?”, WHEN I COULD BE SAYING, “YOU RASCALLY VARMINT! I’LL GET YOU YET!!”
A LITTLE APPRECIATION FOR MY KINDNESSES WOULD BE APPRECIATED… A GIFT CARD PERHAPS…OR A FIVE POUND BAG OF CHOCOLATE…THEN MY FEELINGS WOULD NOT BE HURT ANY LONGER.
WELL…ONCE IN AWHILE YOU HAVE A DAY IN THE WOODS WHERE EVERYBODY IS ON EDGE…FLYING TOO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER…DIVE BOMBING AND USING INTIMIDATION TACTICS.
WHEN THIS KIND OF DAY STARTS TO UNFOLD YOU JUST HOPE THAT NOBODY GETS HURT AND THAT THINGS DON’T GO TOO FAR.
LIKE THIS…THIS IS GOING TOO FAR.
LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT BE TIME TO TAKE A CHOCOLATE BREAK, SHAKE HANDS AND MAKE UP.
