HIGH MAINTENANCE.

DSC_1295 2 wms There's supposed to be a prize in every tube do you see one? pg

‘It said on the label that there’s a prize in every tube…but I’ve eaten most of the tube and still no prize. Do you see one?’

‘Move over a little and let me get a better look, I see something right behind that peanut.’

‘Which peanut, the one on the left or the one on the right?’

‘ON THE RIGHT! LET ME LOOK! Nope, nope that’s a safflower seed, I hate those seeds, they get stuck in my beak.’

‘Flossing once in a while couldn’t hurt, it might help you get rid of your thistle seed breath.’

EXCUSE ME?? I don’t have bad breath!!’

‘When is the last time you smelled yourself?’

‘SMELLED MYSELF??? If you aren’t the rudest bird on the planet! You can just look for your stupid prize by yourself and I hope for your sake it’s DEODORANT!’

‘Hey wait a minute! Are you saying I STINK?!’

‘That underwing smell isn’t coming from me! I had a bird bath this morning.’

Well of all the low down mean things to say!’

You said my breath smelled!’

I was just trying to do you a favor and…THERE IT IS! THERE IT IS! THERE’S THE PRIZE!’

WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT?’

‘IT’S TOENAIL CLIPPERS! Shoot, it’s toe nail clippers…you can have them, you need them more than I do.’

ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I DON’T GET A PEDICURE???’

……………Just a day in the life of a couple of bird brains………….

 

 

 

Bird Gossip

6363-2 2wms chatting in the branches wm (39 of 1)

‘So she said, “I’m sick and tired of you coming home at all hours, reeking of expensive birdseed with your feathers all ruffled!”‘

‘And then HE said, “I’m not entitled to a little treat for myself once in a while? It’s not my fault that you only want to go to the cheap bird feeders. I get TIRED of eating bread crumbs!”‘

‘And then SHE said, “Two can play this game, Mr. Fancy-Pants Suet eater! I’M GOING TO START LIVING IT UP! I’M GOING TO HANG OUT AT THAT NEW POLE FEEDER, THE ONE  WOODROW INVITED ME TO!”‘

And then HE said, “WOODROW!! WOODROW!! That flashy, good for nothing WOODPECKER?!?! YOU WOULDN’T DARE!”‘

‘And then SHE said, “Just watch me! I’m going to go preen my feathers, and strut my stuff! We’ll just see who deserves a treat. You’ve criticized my way of life one too many times.  You’re going to find out how good you’ve had it, but it will be TOO late! I’ll be gone and YOU’LL BE SORRY!”‘

And then HE said, “I’M ALREADY SORRY! I’M SORRY YOU DON’T APPRECIATE ME! I’M SORRY YOUR MOTHER DOESN’T LIKE ME! I’M SORRY THE KIDS GREW UP AND LEFT THE NEST! I…AM…SORRY!!!”‘

And then that was it! She flew off and he pulled a piece of suet out from under his wing where he’d been hiding it and ate it, end of story.

 Anyway, I don’t like to gossip, so don’t tweet about this, okay?’

 

Is it naptime yet?

5302 2 wms Dove drying wings after rain shower needs wm (39 of 1)

This mourning dove has the right idea. Resting between feedings is a must and I make sure to do that myself each and every day.

My resting place of choice is slightly different than the mourning dove’s. I prefer something soft,something that doesn’t have pointy needles. I always choose maple trees. Their leaves are far more comfy and apparently you can get syrup out of them.