THIS IS AN URGENT SAFETY ALERT….
Grapes are NOT our friends!
Two days ago, perhaps three, I was accosted by a grape at the grocery store. One minute I was gliding into the grocery and the next I was BOOM, down on the floor.
Once I got used to my new vantage point of the produce department, I saw the remains of a grape smeared on the floor. I won’t even DESCRIBE the carnage on the bottom of my shoe. I’d been accosted by a grape, I’m sure it was an attack.
Mind you, I know it’s possible that it was an innocent grape…I had considered possible explanations for the grape being on the floor. Was this a simple case of a grape vine not doing it’s job,loosening it’s grip on the grape and causing it to fly desperately into space? With no arms, the grape would have had no choice but to stay on the floor after it landed.
But is that what REALLY happened? I’m not convinced, I was picking up a hostile vibe from the grape juice. In the absence of a reliable grape witness who can vouch for the motivation of the suspect grape, I feel it’s my civic duty to warn others.
BEWARE OF GRAPES! There is a possibility that rogue grapes are lying in wait, primed to sacrifice their lives in an effort to make other grapes laugh at the humans slipping and falling.
Grapes are devious. You’ve been warned.