SQUIGGY REPORTING…


2067   3Squirrel

 

SQUIGGY HERE, REPORTING FOR  “SQRL TV”..

TODAY’S WEATHER…WE’VE GOT SOME  WHITE FLUFFY STUFF FALLING DOWN OUT OF THE SKY AGAIN, JUST LIKE LAST YEAR…AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT.

THERE IS SOME SPECULATION BY OUR SQUIRREL SCIENTISTS THAT THERE MIGHT BE A CONNECTION BETWEEN THE LEAVES ALL JUMPING TO THEIR DEATHS  ABOUT THE SAME TIME  EVERY YEAR AND THE UNPREDICTABLE ARRIVAL OF THIS WHITE STUFF FROM THE SKY. THEY ARE SPECULATING THAT THE LEAVES JUST LIKE DRAMA AND TEND TO OVERREACT TO THE FLUFF.

HERE’S THE TRAFFIC UPDATE IF YOU’RE INTERESTED…OUR REGULAR TRAFFIC REPORTER, “ZIPPY WRONGWAY”, WON’T BE REPORTING TODAY. HE TOOK A WRONG TURN ON INTERSTATE PEANUT BUTTER AND GOT STUCK IN A JAM SANDWICH, SO AVOID THAT GOOEY MESS IF YOU CAN.

ON THE ECONOMIC FRONT, THE ACORN FELL SIXTY POINTS SO IF YOU OWN ANY STOCK OF THIS SORT I’D ADVISE YOU TO SQUIRREL IT AWAY FOR AWHILE…YOU’D BE NUTS TO SELL NOW.

THE CRIME RATE FELL THIS WEEK, POPULAR OPINION CREDITS THIS TO THE CAPTURE AND ARREST OF “TOM” THE CAT. HE CONTINUES TO CLAIM THAT ALL OF THE EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM IS PURELY CIRCUMSTANTIAL.

PRINTS OF TOM’S FANGS AND CLAWS HAVE BEEN TAKEN AND THE CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATORS FEEL THAT THE LAB RESULTS WILL BE A MATCH TO THE WOUNDS INFLICTED ON PATRICE THE MOURNING DOVE. WE REACHED OUT TO PATRICK, PATRICE’S LIFELONG COMPANION FOR HIS THOUGHTS BUT WERE ADVISED THAT HE WOULD HAVE NO COMMENT…HE’S IN MOURNING.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT…ALL THE NEWS THAT IS THE NEWS…UNTIL WE HAVE MORE NEWS.

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LACK OF VIDEO ON OUR TV BROADCAST TODAY….BUT WE’RE SQUIRRELS AND WE DON’T HAVE TV CAMERAS . ZANNYRO (a.k.a, Suzanne) IS WORKING ON THAT.

 

 

 

 

19 thoughts on “SQUIGGY REPORTING…

  1. Made me smile in my cold and snowy day 🙂 Thank you so much, of course I would like to see the video of her, should be amazing… But you are sooooo lovely:) You don’t know how long I have been loving you 🙂 Love, nia

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