RAZZMATAZZ…
We’ve had plenty to feel bad about today here in the U.S.
My thoughts and prayers are with all those who are suffering through these terrible hours and I pray for us all…for safety, for family and friends and strangers….for the good.
I mean no disrespect for this most serious time…but I choose to deal with it by focusing on joy. These visitors came this evening and brought with them some needed joy and even a little laughter and for that I am grateful…Blessings to you all….
It was getting darker, so my camera wasn’t as quick as I would have liked it…for some reason this little one decided to go a little crazy and wiggle and dance and just be generally silly…
Don’t look at me…I have NO idea what that was all about!
THE PINK TUTU STRIKES AGAIN…
This is AMAZINGLY boring..but at least you get to meet my dog Max again…
HEY BOB, STOP BITING ME!…
O.k. first I want to thank El Guapo….As a lot of you know, I’ve been struggling with adding links to my posts…Guapo rode to the rescue and I think he saved me! I can now link to other sites…Hip, Hip, Hooray!! Hip, Hip, Hooray! THANK YOU GUAPO!!!! IT WORKED! IT WORKED! IT WORKED!!!!!
So, now…an explanation for the title of this post…
Yesterday I went over to see Melvin, He celebrated his 85th birthday while I was in Florida!! I took him his present, a calendar that I made featuring pictures of “the Boys”……and I also took some prehistoric horses teeth that I found in Florida while shark tooth hunting…I KNOW these are horses teeth, they were pretty easy to identify.
After we visited awhile, I went outside to visit the Boys before he put them into the barn for the night….it was COLD!! COLD wind, beautiful sky, but COLD!!
The horses are always a little rowdier when they’re hungry and it’s cold out…..I had to laugh because Bob kept coming up to me….stretching his neck WAYYY out to me and curling his lip back and showing me all of his ugly teeth!! He did this several times..when that didn’t get the desired results he started ever so subtly nipping at me……my arm, the side of my leg…THE CAMERA!!…every time I took my attention away from him and took shots of the other horses, I felt a little tug on my coat sleeve…he got more and more determined and I finally had to put my finger on on his big bony forehead and say NOOOOOOOO…was he impressed…NO HE WAS NOT!
After about ten minutes of this silliness, he gave up on my and started in on his buddy Mac…FINALLY, the reaction he was looking for! I think if was just play time and I don’t know how to play!!
DOOT-DOO-DOOT-DOO-DOO ….WHAT?? ….I’M JUST STANDING HERE MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS…I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG…
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THIS IS CRAZY FUN!!
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HEY! HEY! HEY! WATCH IT!!….BOB! KNOCK IT OFF!!
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STOP IT OR I’M GONNA TELL MELVIN!!!!
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ONE MORE TIME…THANK YOU GUAPO!!!
THE SNEAKY SEAGULL….
Someone posted this on Facebook and I just had to share it…too fun! Watch even when you think it might be over..
I HAVE NO FASHION SENSE….
Well….I did it…..I spent at least an hour wandering around the outdoor supply store..intent on finding just the right cammo accessories to aid me in my attempts to capture better images of the doe and her triplets. I spent WAY too long staring at a product called….”Monkey Butt”. This is a REAL product! Apparently this baby soft powder helps to soothe the weary posteriors of hunters who sit for long periods of time. OH DRAT!!! I just realized how they came up with this name!! I’m so embarrassed…my cheeks are burning!! THE ONES ON MY FACE! THE ONES ON MY FACE!!
Let’s leave that topic “behind” shall we?, and move on with the story. I found the most fabulous cammo fabric to stretch across the bedroom door, it is a sliding glass door that looks out onto the woods..I needed more fabric to prevent them from seeing movement.
I had the fabric in my ecstatic possession, so I decided to see what else I could find to help me blend in…I strolled around a bit…and found a little girl who looked at me with giant eyes and said…” Where’s my daddy ?” Well , we went and found Daddy..( the idiot) who had left her to visit the little ladies room and he then had not stayed anywhere NEAR the restroom…he was talking on his cell phone…he looked at me and said..”she knew where I was”. He was FOUR aisles away from the restroom…I realized that I had just seen a real monkey butt up close and in person..
ANYWAY…I found an oversized men’s cammo t-shirt. I was SO excited!! I went home triumphantly clutching my purchases. I put up the cammo fabric across the door..wore the t-shirt to bed..( went to bed after hubby, so he didn’t know I was wearing it…or even that I bought it). I decided I should be prepared to spring out of bed and start capturing images if “Trace” showed up with the babies early…I think I woke up every two hours! That t-shirt was HOT!! NO…not in an ….”. I’m so attractive” kind of way….HOT as in a…. ”I think I’m having hot flashes” kind of way.
The alarm FINALLY went off…I leapt out of bed, checked the camera, put on my cammo hat…(the outfit just wouldn’t have been complete without it) and waited for the deer to arrive…I waited and I waited and I waited………….no deer. I finally gave up, made the bed…. Hubby had gone off to shower..he still hadn’t seen my fabulous attire. I decided to get back up on the bed and my little dog Max snuggled up against my legs…Our comforter is all dark and gold colors, sort of has the colors of the woods in it…Hubby walked back into the room, which was still rather dark….sigh,,,,scared hubby half to death when I spoke to him…he couldn’t tell I was there..I blended in so well, with the cammo hat and cammo t-shirt..
I think he called me a “MONKEY BUTT” !!!!!!!!! Sniff…hurt my feelings…
LAZY SQUIRREL, GREEDY CHIPMUNK…
YES, I’M BEING LAZY…WATCHING THIS CHIPMUNK JUST WEARS ME OUT!
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YUMMMMMMMM….THIS COULD ONLY BE BETTER IF IT HAD CHOCOLATE ON IT!
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DON’T STARE AT MY CUTE LITTLE TONGUE…IT’S NOT POLITE!!
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I KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF MY FAT LITTLE CHEEKS!!
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WHERE’S A GROCERY BAG WHEN YOU NEED ONE?
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PUT ON A HAPPY FACE…
A little surprise tonight…Rocket and Dash were back outside the window and
soon after they arrived, they were joined by Dapple….Dash’s sister….
Words were exchanged, everybody got mad…and went home….The End.
HEY AUNT DAPPLE, I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO SHOW YOU!
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IT’S A SMILEY FACE!! RIGHT ON THE SIDE OF MY HIP!
WELL I NEVER! YOUNG PEOPLE ARE GETTING ALL KINDS OF TATTOO’S THESE DAYS!! DISGRACEFUL!!!
WELL GEE WHIZ AUNT DAPPLE…THAT WAS KIND OF HARSH……
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Rocket did what any young one would do when embarrassed…….went to his room to sulk, and play video games.
THE END….
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FOLLOWING THE DREAM….
When last we met, I had given up my dream of riding a horse while balancing on my head.
Today, after much soul searching, I have found a new dream….I want to be a stunt pilot. I just know that I could learn to fly in four days, how hard could it be? The first thing I need to do is to go get myself a really fabulous pilot’s helmet…..they do wear helmet’s don’t they? It would have to be a helmet with a design of a really serious nature….something that would let everyone know that I am a member of a very tough group of pilots.. ..it would need to have wings, preferably something kind of feathery, like some kind of exotic bird.
I have played some video games and I almost always finish12th place…I think that shows that my reflexes and hand- eye coordination are really pretty good. Don’t they say that pilots practice flying by playing video flying games?
I want to have a black plane with a Palm Tree painted on it…in honor of El Guapo, a fellow blogger..Palm trees signify a “happy place”…soaring through the sky…twirling and diving most certainly must take a person to a happy place 
. Yes, twirling and diving, climbing then rolling and rolling toward the ground….then, up,up,up…loop-dee-loop, then rolling and rolling again…….(burp)….(I don’t feel so good)…WHERE’S THE HAPPY PLACE? WHERE’S THE HAPPY PLACE? ARE WE THERE YET????????
After some reflection I’ve decided to do something with a plane that flies in a straight line. I’m thinking that maybe I could do some ”wing-walking”….You know, like in the movies, where they climb out on the wing while the pilot flies the plane…..(I’m giving up on being the pilot…I feel that I am too active a person to just sit and turn a steering wheel….). ..in order to train for my new career, I am practicing climbing out of my car window and balancing on the hood of my car. ( DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!)
I am having a hard time convincing Hubby to drive me up and down the driveway while I practice this, so for now..I crawl out of the car window and stand on the hood while the car is turned off. Five of my squirrel friends stand in front of the car and wave leaves at me really fast to simulate the wind rushing by me. I have gained a lot of confidence and have only fallen off the hood of the car eleven times. As soon as my new teeth are delivered and the stitches in my posterior are removed, I’m cleared for take-off…
I expect to be famous soon, for a number of reasons.
CIRCUS CAMP…
Drat…It all happened so fast!! I found out that they had added an actual circus camp to the trapeze school that traumatized me not so long ago. I had no choice..you know me…. I signed up immediately…..In preparation for my entrance to the afore-mentioned circus camp…I went shopping…There is nothing that I love more than spending five hours in a trapeeze apparel store..trying on fabulous outfits..as before, with the help of five to ten shop assistants using crowbars and honey, they slipped me into and out of some really jazzy outfits….afterward they only had to call two ambulances to provide resuscitation for these hardworking, horrified, assistants…… Most of the assistants only required psychiatric evaluation.
But enough about them…I decided that the flaming red number with red rhinestones covering every inch of it , was the number for me…I mean….how could they not give me the best jobs in the circus when I was dressed in the most fabulous outfit ever seen….well, at least in MY mirror anyway….
I spent my first hour of class searching everywhere for the horses that I was sure they were hiding somewhere..even though those pesky instructors kept insisting that I was TOO LARGE and TOO OLD for the camp, I forged ahead in following my dream…I had made up my mind that I would be the headline act and make my grand entrance at the opening of the circus, balanced on my head on the back of a horse as it galloped around and around the circus ring….I would balance a squirrel, dressed in a matching outfit, on one foot and a raccoon with glitter around it’s eyes, on the other foot, amazingly, they actually allowed me to be the opening act..(.Apparently the owners of the circus camp are big chocolate lovers and they accepted my bribe)….
The big night arrived…..the lights turned down low, the spotlight was on ME!! I “THOUGHT” it would be fabulous, what I hadn’t counted on was the high pitched screaming that the squirrel, the horse, the raccoon and myself began doing, the moment we entered the ring ….the monkeys of the circus were angry that they didn’t have sparkly little leotards to wear and so they decided to fling their, well, UNMENTIONABLE, debris at us….hence the screaming..The audience was screaming, (some of the monkeys didn’t have very good aim, and there were some civilian casualties)…and the director of the camp was screaming….something about me leaving and taking my flea-bag friends with me.
I must give up my dream …….those people just don’t appreciate a true artist.
BOB AND MAC….CRAZY EYES..
I have NO IDEA what is going on here….
all rights reserved. Suzanne J. Rogers
WATCHING ME, WATCHING YOU….
Do you ever get the feeling that someone is watching you?
I’ve had this feeling all day..I’ve been working in the yard most of the day,
and I’m sure that the blue jays were complaining to each other because
there were no peanuts yet.
But I don’t think it was the blue jays that I felt watching me, not really.
Oooops, there’s one now, looking in the window…anyway, where was I?
Whatever it was that was watching me felt “large”.
I was getting a “friendly” vibe,,so no alarm bells were going off ..
but I could just feel someone’s eyes boring into the back of my head…
and then there was the laughing…
I KNOW I heard laughing !
It wasn’t the usual kind of laughing, it sounded different….
I hate it when you feel like someone is laughing at you…granted I had on
a really ugly hat, a horrid looking long sleeved shirt and about a gallon of sweat poring
off of my face, but what’s unattractive about that?
Do you suppose they were laughing because I kept laying down behind the
lawnmower and saying…” I’m going to die”….
Could it have been that they were laughing watching me drag the shovel and broom
back to the garage after five hours of work, gasping for air and water and chocolate??
My face a lovely shade of purple?….
Could it have been when I put the broom away and realized that I had left the
door open and the dog had been in the garage for all of that time, trying to get
peanuts out from under the hood of my car?
Possibly they were laughing at me when I raced across the yard, swatting at my head
and cursing at the deer flies and horse flies that were trying to eat the top of my head for lunch.
No….I’m sure I was just imaging the staring and the laughing,,probably I’m dehydrated
and my brain is taking a trip down loony-lane.
NO ONE WAS STARING….
THERE IT IS AGAIN..SOMEONE IS STARING AT ME, I CAN FEEL IT!!
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- IT’S ALMOST AS IF “BOB” IS SOMEWHERE CLOSE BY.
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- NOW THERE! I HEARD IT AGAIN..SOMEONE IS LAUGHING AT ME!!!!
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AN ACT OF AGGRESSION!
Well I don’t know what to say…I knew squirrels were tough, but wow…
very possessive of their trees!
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SOUND THE TRUMPETS!!! STRIKE UP THE BAND !!! OH! YOU ALL WENT TO BED..I DON’T BLAME YOU.
Well,,,only three hours and fifteen hours late……….here is the video we were all
going to watch together..I realize from many comments, that a lot of you WERE actually
gathered around your monitors at the same time…so….I guess you were all united at
that moment…by the bond of confusion and frustration……..hope the chocolates were
good and for those of you substituting wine for chocolate..you probably didn’t mind
the mix up HALF as much as the rest of us.
Thanks for being such good sports!
(IT HELPS IF YOU TAKE THIS FULL SCREEN}
TIME FOR TRUE CONFESSIONS…
O.K…………………………….
So here’s the thing……………..about the squirrel..There IS a bald-headed squirrel.
The problem is, he’s just too fast for me, for Peanut Butter and for Jelly.
SO……………………………on the advice of Council (you know who you are Sonel),
I’ve decided to come clean about the squirrels appearing in the Squirrel-O-Mentary.
A while back, but AFTER, I had already discovered the bald-headed squirrel and Nia
had knitted and sent the hats, something occurred.
Quite a few people here in my little world, knew about my plans for Baldy…Someone let
me know that they had “taxidermy” squirrels that they were going to get rid of.
I couldn’t stand the thought that these little squirrels were going to be gotten rid of.
They were possibly going to end up in the trash and there was NO WAY, I wanted that to
happen.
SO………………………….I gave them a home….They are my “Rescue” squirrels.
It took awhile for me to get over my aversion to their “condition”, but now I feel very
fond of them..they have their own little cabinet that they live in.
I told my husband that they were not going to have died in vain..actually, I stood right in
front of both he and my daughter and told one of the squirrels that they were going to have “long” lives.
I told it that it was going to have a long life making people happy. It sounds weird, I know,
but as a child I couldn’t go to sleep unless all of my dolls were covered up under their
little blankets. The blankets couldn’t cover their noses, because then they wouldn’t be
able to “breathe”. So now you know THAT about me.
SO………………………….that’s the story…I’m going to sit here and hold my
breath..waiting to see if you all hate me because of this deception….I almost died from lack of oxygen waiting
to hear back from “council”, hoping she would still speak to me. Not her fault, she didn’t
know I was holding my breath.
I’m glad I told you…I feel a little better now…..BUT….can the story continue?
P.S. Poor Jelly,,he came home for the Easter weekend..I had put a note on the cabinet
warning everyone NOT to open the cabinet if they didn’t want to freak-out..I also
wrote squirrel on the note..well, while I was out to dinner the note fell off the cabinet,
Jelly opened it and nearly had a heart attack…TWO squirrels were looking out at
him…because I feed the wildlife, and we actually HAD a little squirrel get in the
house once he thought they were real…poor Jelly..I felt kind of bad.
OH MY GOSH THE SQUIRREL EXPERT PLAN BACKFIRES !
THROW YOURSELF IN YOUR COMFY CHAIR AND PUT ON YOUR SEATBELTS!!!!
THE THRONE IS PREPARED…THE HAT(s) ARE IN PLACE..
Are you anywhere near Candy?, or a comfy chair???? Presenting….THE THRONE!
All is ready and we are waiting, waiting so see the little squirrel show up…..
You can see that one little squirrel already stopped by, but he just wanted to
speak to me about a personal matter.
We have suspended each hat, so that If and when “Baldy” sits down to eat a peanut
we can “crown” him with the hat then and there….I wonder which hat he’ll like the
best? I cannot say that I have a personal favorite..but I did take one to Florida
with me when I was taking my little break….I won’t say which one…If you feel
like letting me know which one you like the best, I’m sure Nia and myself would
love to hear your comments…
This post is dedicated to my buddy who had surgery today! You’ll be up and
about in no time…but hopefully, if it won’t cause you any pain, you’ll get
a laugh out of this!
Could we talk? I'm having some anxiety.
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HAT NUMBER ONE
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HAT NUMBER TWO
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HAT NUMBER THREE
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THE SQUIRREL-O-MENTARY,,,BROUGHT TO YOU BY www. I’M CRAZY.
ARE YOU READY !!?????!!!!!!
HERE WE GO !!!!!!
ARE YOU IN YOUR CHAIR???
DO YOU HAVE YOUR SNACKS???
Then let’s do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the beginning of our squirrel-o-mentary….
For the most part, today the images can speak for themselves. I decided that I needed an able assistant,
so I ran an advertisement. For some reason I only had
one person respond, and might I add, they were not
totally enthusiastic about my ideas.
In the end I prevailed. My reasoning was sound…people
ALL OVER THE WORLD
were counting on me to deliver an earth shattering, globally
significant reporting of the “crowning of the little bald headed
squirrel”. My new assistant was reduced to tears with the
enormity of the responsibility and as you can see in the images, was joyous throughout the entire attempt to secure the squirrel.
An entire evening had been devoted to fashioning the
appropriate “peanut” attire….this ensemble was felt, in
my best judgement, to be our best bet at attracting the squirrel. In a previous post I allulded to my brother-in-law’s
lack of faith in my sanity…we shall ignore him and his
ignorant opinions. I must say, the outfit smelled Dee-licious!
Saturday, we were so excited that we, make that,I, stuffed myself
with Chocolate…my sister, another assistant who was
there simply to laugh until she almost fell over, never
touched one piece of chocolate. I feel certain that medical
intervention is required for her, because that is not normal
behaviour…”Peanut Butter”, my able assistant, also did not
partake of the chocolate…so I finished the bag and we were
ready to go where no man, (or woman) has gone before…
Into “The Kingdom of Zannyro Crazy”.
You will see in the following images that “Peanut Butter”, as
she is now called by her boyfriend, gave it her best shot..
but “Baldy” remained in hiding……….we will not give up, we
will not give in….Victory is ours………….so with more
chocolate under my belt and padding my derriere….we WILL try again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now remember,,,turn off your cellphones, no loud talking, no sticking gum
under your seat…NOW PLEASE ENJOY THE SHOW!
NO REACTION SO FAR
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PICK A HAT, ANY HAT, THEY'RE ALL LOVELY !
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MAYBE CLOSER TO HIS NATURAL HABITAT WILL WORK
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ZERO THE INCREDIBLE!!
Well……….because I am feeling a little lazy …and I’m running low on chocolate,
I’m going to post a video that only two of my fellow bloggers have seen before. This video
was made a while back and features my son as the ring-master and our cat “Zero”.
He has enjoyed doing this as long as we’ve had him, and he
will be sixteen years old in a few weeks…This video runs about three minutes..Make
sure that you watch until AFTER it says, The End..he has one last moment.
Enjoy!
BUT I LOVE YOU!!
And now for something a little entertaining. Something that makes you
sit up and say……..THANK GOD I DON’T LIVE IN A TREE!!
THE LITTLE BALD SQUIRREL AND THE HAT
I felt that I should write tonight because there has been a developing story concerning
the little bald squirrel. Niasunset, who is an angel,has actually knitted a hat for
the little squirrel and the hat will soon be crossing the world to come to me in order
that it can be presented to the squirrel. I have advised a few special co-conspirators
of this situation,,,I will be sending Nia a pair of “squirrel underpants” that I actually
purchased in a store…as a token of my undying gratitude for her kind and gentle heart.
So prepare yourselves…..soon you will see the little bald squirrel in his lovely hat. (I
don’t think I can get the underpants on him).
