O.K….so you know I’ve been pre-occupied with Mother Nature lately…
enough about that…..I have just a few random thoughts that I want to put
out into the universe….I’M IN LOVE!!! I HAVE FOUND THE BOAT OF MY DREAMS!!
I told you that I love to collect shark’s teeth and that I have acquired over
21,000 at this point….AND I’M NOT DONE YET!!
The people on the beach have not yet experienced enough shock and awe…
each trip to the beach provides me with fresh victims….poor unsuspecting
individuals who are doing nothing wrong, minding their own business.
Little do they know that their day is about to turn….WEIRD….
When they meet me on the beach, they have become one of the rare and
special people of this world…who met the WACKY LOOKING BEACH LADY…
and lived to tell about it….
I must explain…I suppose….I am protective of my pasty, white skin…
I am a sight to behold when I set out for a few hours of shark tooth hunting…
I wear a long-sleeved shirt designed for fisherman who spend long hours out
fishing in the waters of the Florida Keys….I wear a GIGANTIC hat to protect
my head and face, elbows and knees…(I said, it was a big hat)…
I wear lovely little beach knickers that come all the way down to the
middle of my calf….and I have suntan lotion on under all of that.
Now this hat is a wonder…..it likes to collect the hair on top of my head
and weave it into its straw fibers while I’m busily scooping for shark’s teeth.
The hat’s motive is to gather as much hair as it can, so that when I take the
hat off….it rips out lots of lovely hair off the top of my head….
It’s hot searching for shark’s teeth…at least it is for me….those
people in shorts and bathing suits always seem to look so cool
and refreshed….because of all of my attire, and the exertion of the hunt
and the hat that always finds a way to hang upside down under my chin
when a breeze blows…my face is usually beet red, my face is all sweaty,
my glasses are fogged up and smeared with protective suntan lotion
and I have tons of ripped off hairs stuck to the lotion on my face…
Now you know why people’s lives are changed forever when they
meet me on the beach….they’ve never seen anyone who looks
like this before….I’ve even been asked to pose for a picture with a nice
visiting Russian family…and a little boy who wanted to help me
look for teeth….I think his grandmother was really going to sell
this photo to a magazine with the caption…”Freaks on the Beach”.
Now just remember….you know me by now….you know this is exactly
the sort of thing I would wear..and the sort of thing I would do….well..it’s
all true…Russian family and everything…and to put the icing on the cake…
it was Halloween day.
However, how did I get so far off topic…..as I said, I have found the boat
of my dreams…..here it is….