Today I was walking quietly outside near “the window” and I saw something move…
I stopped and stood very still…and then I saw it….something I haven’t seen in a LONG
time……..a squirrel named BALDY!!
I was so surprised to see Baldy all dressed up for the 4th of July! I didn’t know that
squirrels celebrated the 4th…..I told him quietly that I admired his hat…
Something about that hat just felt really familiar…I don’t know why…
(Don’t get me started on the ” I don’t know why” thing again).
The haunting sensation stayed with me long after Baldy had scampered off
into the woods…
Oh well…..I guess I’ll never know why I liked it so much…
TODAY IS A GREAT DAY!!
Just ignore me….I’m just happy because “Mama’s” (the three legged deer that my book is about),
daughter Dash showed up!!
Haven’t seen her in MONTHS and I was afraid she didn’t make it through the
winter…then this morning, THERE SHE WAS!! She was just hanging around down
by the sycamore tree, munching on leaves.
I was able to grab a little bucket of corn, open the door, and talk to her while I spread the corn.
It took her about a half an hour to wander up to get the corn, she’s forgotten me I think. She’s
more nervous than she was last year. She may be getting ready to have her baby though, so maybe
that’s why she’s more cautious.
The BEST news, while she was eating corn, up runs BALDY! They ate corn together
and here is the proof!
AND…IT’S RAINING! YAHOO!!!
Well,,,only three hours and fifteen hours late……….here is the video we were all
going to watch together..I realize from many comments, that a lot of you WERE actually
gathered around your monitors at the same time…so….I guess you were all united at
that moment…by the bond of confusion and frustration……..hope the chocolates were
good and for those of you substituting wine for chocolate..you probably didn’t mind
the mix up HALF as much as the rest of us.
Thanks for being such good sports!
(IT HELPS IF YOU TAKE THIS FULL SCREEN}
For what it’s worth:
I’m being told I’m an hour away from it being UPLOADED………….I can hear
a universal moan……I can feel the candy boxes hitting the monitors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep checking…………..I’m sitting here with little piles of hair from my
head laying all around me….I have torn it out in frustration…now Baldy isn’t the
ARE YOU READY!!!?????? POPCORN READY?????
DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH CHOCOLATE?????
HERE ARE YOUR INSTRUCTIONS…..
Because we have such a HUGE population involved in this, and so many different time zones involved…
we will have to be creative…..
TOMORROW….at 7 p.m…MY TIME….I will post the video..I’m on Eastern time here in the U.S.
Those of you who can arrange to be watching….BE READY!!
Those of you who will be in the “land of dreams”,, view it as soon as you can….
It would be fantastic if you could post a picture of yourselves..or in the interest of privacy…
post a picture of your comfy chair…your fabulous snacks and goodies,,and maybe even your monitor
with the video on the screen… If you are able to do this…send me a link back to your post and
I will guide all of our world-wide friends to view your post and admire your ingenuity!
For those of you brave enough to post a picture of yourself or your pets, black-tie is suggested.
Ladies…..I WANT TO SEE “BLING”..or in other words…Tiaras, Diamond Bracelets, or your
favorite slippers propped up in front of your monitor…
BE CREATIVE!! SHOW THE WORLD THAT I HAVE THE BEST, MOST FABULOUS FOLLOWERS IN THE WORLD..
I WILL JUDGE ALL ENTREES…A WINNER FOR THE MOST IMPRESSIVE POST WILL BE AWARDED A SIGNED AND
AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF BALDY. THERE MAY EVEN BE A SURPRISE GIFT INCLUDED..
SO……..GET GOING, GET READY, GET …CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
So here’s the thing……………..about the squirrel..There IS a bald-headed squirrel.
The problem is, he’s just too fast for me, for Peanut Butter and for Jelly.
SO……………………………on the advice of Council (you know who you are Sonel),
I’ve decided to come clean about the squirrels appearing in the Squirrel-O-Mentary.
A while back, but AFTER, I had already discovered the bald-headed squirrel and Nia
had knitted and sent the hats, something occurred.
Quite a few people here in my little world, knew about my plans for Baldy…Someone let
me know that they had “taxidermy” squirrels that they were going to get rid of.
I couldn’t stand the thought that these little squirrels were going to be gotten rid of.
They were possibly going to end up in the trash and there was NO WAY, I wanted that to
SO………………………….I gave them a home….They are my “Rescue” squirrels.
It took awhile for me to get over my aversion to their “condition”, but now I feel very
fond of them..they have their own little cabinet that they live in.
I told my husband that they were not going to have died in vain..actually, I stood right in
front of both he and my daughter and told one of the squirrels that they were going to have “long” lives.
I told it that it was going to have a long life making people happy. It sounds weird, I know,
but as a child I couldn’t go to sleep unless all of my dolls were covered up under their
little blankets. The blankets couldn’t cover their noses, because then they wouldn’t be
able to “breathe”. So now you know THAT about me.
SO………………………….that’s the story…I’m going to sit here and hold my
breath..waiting to see if you all hate me because of this deception….I almost died from lack of oxygen waiting
to hear back from “council”, hoping she would still speak to me. Not her fault, she didn’t
know I was holding my breath.
I’m glad I told you…I feel a little better now…..BUT….can the story continue?
P.S. Poor Jelly,,he came home for the Easter weekend..I had put a note on the cabinet
warning everyone NOT to open the cabinet if they didn’t want to freak-out..I also
wrote squirrel on the note..well, while I was out to dinner the note fell off the cabinet,
Jelly opened it and nearly had a heart attack…TWO squirrels were looking out at
him…because I feed the wildlife, and we actually HAD a little squirrel get in the
house once he thought they were real…poor Jelly..I felt kind of bad.
Well,,,I thought with the “crowning” of the little bald-headed squirrel, we had finished our
Squirrel-O-Mentary. Well I thought WRONG!! As I was casually strolling by my window
into the woods today, I was SHOCKED!, yes SHOCKED! by what I saw take place!!!!!!
Apparently there is a KING OF THE SQUIRRELS!! Gasp!!
He had picked himself a lovely tulip,,and was preparing to pluck the petals, playing the
“she loves me, she loves me not” game. I ran to get a better shot with my camera
which had somehow mysteriously appeared in my hands…THE KING! THE KING! I shouted,,the dog
cared not. By the time I reached a better vantage point, HE WAS GONE! But in his place
was A MONKEY!!! WEARING ONE OF NIA’S HATS!! Well I was SHOCKED! SHOCKED! I tell you!
(I must apologize to “the Good Greatsby”, he had a post where he was “SHOCKED” about
EVERYTHING!!,,and I loved it!)
HOW did he get one of the hats? Had the dog let him in when I wasn’t looking? It doesn’t
matter…I was SHOCKED! I later learned his name is Philippe..he is originally from France,
but was swept up by a large albatross, carried ACROSS THE WORLD..and dropped into our
woods…I must find a banana.
As I stared at him in amazement, an ASTONISHING thing happened!! Baldy charged from the
woods and tried to wrestle the hat off of Philippe’s head! You CAN NOT imagine the fear
that I felt for Baldy, and also for Philippe, as he was starting to grow on me.
After a short while the screaming stopped,,(mine, not theirs) and Baldy seemed to be trying to
reason quietly with Phillipe.
I turned away briefly to stuff a sock in my mouth,,,(I felt another scream coming on)
and when I turned back…THEY WERE GONE!! Well! You can imagine my panic, my fear,
my hunger…I’m out of chocolate…I raced from one end of the house to the other..and then
it hit me…..OH NO!!!! NOT THE ROAD!!! PLEASE!!! NOT THE ROAD!! you know
how squirrels are about a road..for those of you not familiar, let’s just say
they seem to get a strange joy out of tempting fate,,they like to see who
is faster….them or the poor unsuspecting nitwit driving madly down the road.
I RAN to the road…with my camera…AND THERE THEY WERE!! My heart was in my throat,
I could barely manage to gather my thoughts together enough to take a picture..but of
course I did…They told me they were off to get ice cream… a banana split to be exact..
with extra peanuts!
And just like that…they drove away!
As they say…ALL’S WELL, THAT ENDS WELL… OR SO I THOUGHT!!!
An hour later I notice a great uproar in the woods, and saw our magnolia bush violently shaking!!
I crept outside for a closer look,, AND I COULDN’T BELIEVE MY EYES!!
The squirrel king had reappeared..and he was NOT HAPPY.
He had seen the fighting over the hat and he thought that Baldy
and Philippe had both been acting immaturely. He felt they
had been an embarrassment to the animal kingdom…but MOST IMPORTANTLY..
they had not brought him back any ice cream..
I don’t know WHAT occurred in that magnolia bush..but I would guess
that Philippe might need more than ice cream to patch up THIS
I must stop with this post now..I am TRAUMATIZED!!! It is all too much for me..pardon me..
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY CHOCOLATE ????? IT’S AN EMERGENCY !!!!!
(Till we meet again,heehee)
Please forgive me..heehee
THROW YOURSELF IN YOUR COMFY CHAIR AND PUT ON YOUR SEATBELTS!!!!
Can you feel it????? Do you hear it in the whisper of the wind? I’m surprised
that you can’t, I’ve been out in my backyard bellowing for the little bald-headed
squirrel everyday..can’t understand why he hasn’t shown up…BUT NEW DEVELOPMENTS!
TODAY …… I have brought in an EXPERT !!!!!!!
He should arrive in just a few short hours and I KNOW that we will soon have our
CORONATION!! Everything is READY!! Next week,,and I’m talking EARLY next week,
get your chairs ready again….be ready to set the phones to vibrate…call your
friends and neighbors and have pizza beforehand…you know,,,this is just
like the superbowl…IT’S THE SUPER SQUIRREL-O-MENTARY!!!!!!
If any of you can still find them in your closets, go get out your squirrel ear hats,
your peanut hats and vests,,(see previous post). If you do not have any, trust me,
a bag of peanuts a glue gun and any shirt and hat that you have handy will work
just fine. I need committed, vocal, extroverted fan support….It would be awesome if
you could post pictures of yourself and your guests on your post..Then you
could come here and provide us all with the link!! Ooooooohhhhh,,,If you know
of a better, more efficient way to do this, let me know!
If this is to become a world-wide event..(and apparently it is already), then we all need to do our
part…spread the word…sell those peanut t-shirts, share your candy, cinnamon rolls,
tootsie rolls, and the resulting fat rolls with the WHOLE WORLD. Actually, I wouldn’t share
too much, visually, of the fat rolls….we’re trying to keep this a “Classy” event.
Yes I know, your living rooms or whatever room contains your computer could become too crowded
with anxious, gum chewing, popcorn munching, chocolate crazed fans…but is this too
high a price to pay for a LIFE-CHANGING event? I think not…you can always get the
furniture and carpet cleaned. As long as you keep it to a one drink minimum, how
much damage could your home really suffer?
Now we’re the Squirrel-o-mentary team right? So I just want to say thank you ahead of
time, to all of you fabulous team players out there. I may become too famous later and
I won’t remember your names…so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,!!!!!
NOW GO OUT THERE AND STOCK UP ON SUPPLIES…PUT YOUR UNWILLING NEIGHBORS AND FRIENDS
ON SPEED-DIAL SO THAT YOU CAN KEEP THEM UP-DATED…. GO TEAM!!!!!!!
Are you anywhere near Candy?, or a comfy chair???? Presenting….THE THRONE!
All is ready and we are waiting, waiting so see the little squirrel show up…..
You can see that one little squirrel already stopped by, but he just wanted to
speak to me about a personal matter.
We have suspended each hat, so that If and when “Baldy” sits down to eat a peanut
we can “crown” him with the hat then and there….I wonder which hat he’ll like the
best? I cannot say that I have a personal favorite..but I did take one to Florida
with me when I was taking my little break….I won’t say which one…If you feel
like letting me know which one you like the best, I’m sure Nia and myself would
love to hear your comments…
This post is dedicated to my buddy who had surgery today! You’ll be up and
about in no time…but hopefully, if it won’t cause you any pain, you’ll get
a laugh out of this!
ARE YOU READY !!?????!!!!!!
HERE WE GO !!!!!!
ARE YOU IN YOUR CHAIR???
DO YOU HAVE YOUR SNACKS???
Then let’s do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the beginning of our squirrel-o-mentary….
For the most part, today the images can speak for themselves. I decided that I needed an able assistant,
so I ran an advertisement. For some reason I only had
one person respond, and might I add, they were not
totally enthusiastic about my ideas.
In the end I prevailed. My reasoning was sound…people
ALL OVER THE WORLD
were counting on me to deliver an earth shattering, globally
significant reporting of the “crowning of the little bald headed
squirrel”. My new assistant was reduced to tears with the
enormity of the responsibility and as you can see in the images, was joyous throughout the entire attempt to secure the squirrel.
An entire evening had been devoted to fashioning the
appropriate “peanut” attire….this ensemble was felt, in
my best judgement, to be our best bet at attracting the squirrel. In a previous post I allulded to my brother-in-law’s
lack of faith in my sanity…we shall ignore him and his
ignorant opinions. I must say, the outfit smelled Dee-licious!
Saturday, we were so excited that we, make that,I, stuffed myself
with Chocolate…my sister, another assistant who was
there simply to laugh until she almost fell over, never
touched one piece of chocolate. I feel certain that medical
intervention is required for her, because that is not normal
behaviour…”Peanut Butter”, my able assistant, also did not
partake of the chocolate…so I finished the bag and we were
ready to go where no man, (or woman) has gone before…
Into “The Kingdom of Zannyro Crazy”.
You will see in the following images that “Peanut Butter”, as
she is now called by her boyfriend, gave it her best shot..
but “Baldy” remained in hiding……….we will not give up, we
will not give in….Victory is ours………….so with more
chocolate under my belt and padding my derriere….we WILL try again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now remember,,,turn off your cellphones, no loud talking, no sticking gum
under your seat…NOW PLEASE ENJOY THE SHOW!
O.K. I realize I’ve been a little lazy this week…and so far nothing has changed…
Well, I must retract that statement…HUGE…and I mean HUGE amounts of preparation
have gone into construction and design for the little bald-headed squirrel saga…..
i CAN ONLY TELL YOU THAT ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF PEANUTS WERE INVOLVED…I can also only
tell you that my brother-in-law stopped by and my niece, and they are totally convinced
that I have lost my mind….I told my brother-in-law to be properly respectful. He
was involved in a process that, at that moment, I was sure was not occurring
ANYWHERE else in the world.
My niece commented on the fact that I can get people to do
the oddest things..She wondered why I start doing these WAY out there things,, and
people just get drawn in, even when they don’t want to…I said it’s because people
like to have fun…and I threaten to start dancing in a public place when I’m with
them if they don’t help me.
I can also only tell you that is worth the price of admission to watch the expression
on my husband’s face as I proceed with my preparations..He keeps saying, “it won’t work,
it won’t work” and then he is amazed WHEN IT DOES WORK! He is my biggest supporter
and he still cannot fathom how he went from marrying a sweet little girl so many
years ago, and ended up being married to, as I humbly like to call myself…
“A FORCE OF NATURE”..heehee. Humble is my middle name…
Within hours the task force will gather, and the peanuts will be deployed..I am
beside myself with wild anticipation!
My last exhalation of hot air will be dedicated to sharing this story for poetry lovers…
and people who just like “quirky”.
When in New Orleans, oh….let’s say a year ago, we were wandering the streets and came
upon this wonderful fellow…you gave him your money and “presto-change’o”, you
had yourself some original poetry.
Today I feel like I really accomplished something! While I wasn’t looking, the woods silently
crept up on the guardian of my little nature sanctuary. Last year I realized that my beloved
sycamore tree had been captured and claimed by the woods! I have watched “Mama”,the three
legged deer rest under this tree. One afternoon, I watched “the girls” and little baby tri
stand under the sheltering arms of the sycamore and try to decide if it was safe to
approach me..(they did).
This tree just holds a special place in my heart. When I reflect on things in my life.. whether
I’ve been near or far, I like to think that I’m always standing in it’s watchful, protective
shadow. It simply represents home.
So TODAY,,,I reclaimed it from the woods! It now stands apart, just a bit, so that all who
see it knows, this tree is something special…
So here are some images of my beloved woods…
And a little hint of things to come….
Do you see the nest being cradled in the branches of the sycamore?
Guess who lives there….
Let’s all whisper it together….the little bald-headed squirrel.
Even now, I am tippy toe-ing around…so that you can’t hear me…making my little
preparations for the crowning of the little squirrel with THE HAT! And the SECOND hat…
and the THIRD hat…do not give up on us…the fun is about to begin
It’s here, it’s REALLY HERE!!! I got the call that a package had
arrived…all the way from ISTANBUL!! Dear Nia,,,,you caused much
joy and laughter! After all of the anticipation, the package did
not contain what I expected…..
Not a hat……THREE HATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND DIFFERENT SIZES, AND BEAUTIFUL VIBRANT COLORS!!! They are SO
pretty!! Nia you did too much and so quickly…your heart is SO
So now my task begins……..the planning begins,,,my daughter will
come tomorrow and we will start persuading the little bald-headed
squirrel to do a fashion show for us….I’m not sure what time the
little bald-headed squirrel throws himself out of bed..It won’t
take him long to get up and get about his day..after all, his house
is very tiny..almost nothing to clean..
I’m sure he’ll want to read the morning paper, and perhaps have a cup of
hazelnut coffee..but after that..I believe we’ll be able to begin our
“squirrelomentory”. No “documentary” for us, no sir, the last time I tried
to put a hat on a Doctor he got quite irate. Mumbled something about
“inappropriate” and actually threatened to stick a tongue depressor in my ear.
I digress….we will approach this with all due caution and respect
regarding “Eddie” the bald-headed squirrel. No animals will be harmed
in the making of this squirrelomentory, and in most cases, parental
advisories will not need to be recommended.
Now I caution each and every one of you…do not laugh at the images you
will be seeing. Do not throw popcorn at your screen or talk on your cell
phones. If you do not have an attorney, one will be appointed for you..OH..
Now please, no whining, no drunk-dialing demanding to know when the next
installment of the squirrelomentary will be aired…this is not downtown
abbey you know..We have class and dignity.
So for now……LET ME JUST SAY……THANK YOU NIA!!! YOU HAVE MADE MY
As many of you know….lovely Nia is knitting a hat for my little bald headed squirrel visitor.
It is on it’s way to us….Nia has informed me it is coming all the way to the U.S.A.
This morning I saw a LOT of commotion in the back yard and decided to investigate….
This is what I saw…….
I felt that I should write tonight because there has been a developing story concerning
the little bald squirrel. Niasunset, who is an angel,has actually knitted a hat for
the little squirrel and the hat will soon be crossing the world to come to me in order
that it can be presented to the squirrel. I have advised a few special co-conspirators
of this situation,,,I will be sending Nia a pair of “squirrel underpants” that I actually
purchased in a store…as a token of my undying gratitude for her kind and gentle heart.