Drat…It all happened so fast!! I found out that they had added an actual circus camp to the trapeze school that traumatized me not so long ago. I had no choice..you know me…. I signed up immediately…..In preparation for my entrance to the afore-mentioned circus camp…I went shopping…There is nothing that I love more than spending five hours in a trapeeze apparel store..trying on fabulous outfits..as before, with the help of five to ten shop assistants using crowbars and honey, they slipped me into and out of some really jazzy outfits….afterward they only had to call two ambulances to provide resuscitation for these hardworking, horrified, assistants…… Most of the assistants only required psychiatric evaluation.
But enough about them…I decided that the flaming red number with red rhinestones covering every inch of it , was the number for me…I mean….how could they not give me the best jobs in the circus when I was dressed in the most fabulous outfit ever seen….well, at least in MY mirror anyway….
I spent my first hour of class searching everywhere for the horses that I was sure they were hiding somewhere..even though those pesky instructors kept insisting that I was TOO LARGE and TOO OLD for the camp, I forged ahead in following my dream…I had made up my mind that I would be the headline act and make my grand entrance at the opening of the circus, balanced on my head on the back of a horse as it galloped around and around the circus ring….I would balance a squirrel, dressed in a matching outfit, on one foot and a raccoon with glitter around it’s eyes, on the other foot, amazingly, they actually allowed me to be the opening act..(.Apparently the owners of the circus camp are big chocolate lovers and they accepted my bribe)….
The big night arrived…..the lights turned down low, the spotlight was on ME!! I “THOUGHT” it would be fabulous, what I hadn’t counted on was the high pitched screaming that the squirrel, the horse, the raccoon and myself began doing, the moment we entered the ring ….the monkeys of the circus were angry that they didn’t have sparkly little leotards to wear and so they decided to fling their, well, UNMENTIONABLE, debris at us….hence the screaming..The audience was screaming, (some of the monkeys didn’t have very good aim, and there were some civilian casualties)…and the director of the camp was screaming….something about me leaving and taking my flea-bag friends with me.
I must give up my dream …….those people just don’t appreciate a true artist.