YOU SAW WHAT IN THE BACKYARD???????????????

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THIS, MY DEAR FRIENDS, IS WHAT YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE IN YOUR BACKYARD…YES….A MOUNTAIN LION….CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING FROM WHERE YOU ARE?  

THIS BACKYARD IS ONLY ABOUT FOUR  MILES FROM MY BACKYARD.

THERE HAVE BEEN RUMORS OVER THE YEARS OF A MOUNTAIN LION IN OUR AREA…WE ARE IN THE MID-WEST…NOT THE WILD WEST…WE DON’THAVE MOUNTAINS AND BIG ROCK PERCHES FOR MOUNTAIN LIONS TO..WELL..PERCH ON. THIS BEING THE CASE, I DON’T KNOW WHY THEY WOULD LIKE LIVING HERE.

THIS PAST SATURDAY,ROCK PERCHES OR NO ROCK PERCHES… PROOF FINALLY EXISTS THAT THIS CAT IS LIVING AMONG US….EEEEYYYYAAAHHHHHH!!!!

NO WAY IS THIS A COYOTE…THEY DON’T HAVE TAILS LIKE THIS, THEY DON’T HAVE A HEAD SHAPED LIKE THIS.

THIS WAS TAKEN AT 1:30 PM….BY PEOPLE THAT I KNOW….THEY WERE VISITING WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS, SITTING ON THE PATIO…….  SITTING ON THE PATIO…….NOW SEE, THAT’S WHERE I’M VERY DIFFERENT FROM THESE FOLKS….I WOULD BE FREAKING OUT ON THE PATIO!!

AFTER THAT…WELL, I MIGHT BE DRINKING IN MY CLOSET.

LOOK AT HOW BIG THAT ANIMAL IS…EVEN AT SUCH A DISTANCE IT’S OBVIOUS THAT IT’S LARGE…..LARGE!……I WOULD NOW LIKE AN EXTREMELY LARGE CHOCOLATE BAR TO HELP WITH MY ANXIETY….

NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK MY DOG…WE’RE GOING TO NEED SOME SORT OF PROTECTION….TWO YEARS AGO, I AM FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT I SAW THIS CAT BESIDE MY GARAGE AT THE EDGE OF THE WOODS.

I WENT TO THE LOCAL SPORTING GOODS STORE TO FIND SOME PROTECTION, BUT THEY DON’T SELL BEAR SPRAY…THEY HAD A BIG MACHETE TYPE THING, BUT I’D PROBABLY END UP CUTTING MY LEG OFF.

HERE’S A CLOSE UP FOR YOUR SCRUTINY…NOT A GREAT SHOT…BUT I’M ASSUMING THIS WAS TAKEN WITH A CELL PHONE.

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NOW PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO FIND A ROCK TO PERCH ON IN MY CLOSET….ALONG WITH A LIQUID BEVERAGE…I HAVE SOME MORE SCREAMING TO DO.

GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY…

 

 

 

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YES…I WOULD GIVE MY LUNCH MONEY TO THIS ANIMAL IF IT ASKED FOR IT.

YOU NEVER KNOW, MAYBE HE FORGOT TO PACK A LUNCH…OR MAYBE HE DOESN’T LIKE THE CHEESE SANDWICH HIS MOM PACKED FOR HIM AND HE WANTS TO BUY SOMETHING ELSE TO EAT.

MAYBE HE LIKES HIS LUNCH, BUT NEEDS TO BUY A SOFT DRINK, OR MAYBE AN ENERGY DRINK.

HE COULD NEED TO BUY SOME CHEWING GUM, OR BREATH MINTS…(THEIR BREATH IS NOT EXACTLY FRESH AS A DAISY.)

MAYBE HE WOULD NEED MY LUNCH MONEY SO THAT HE COULD AFFORD TO RIDE THE BUS HOME WHEN HE’S DONE DOING WHATEVER IT IS THAT TIGERS DO ALL DAY. 

MAYBE HE WOULD USE THE MONEY TO BUY SOME MUSIC FROM ITUNES TO PLAY ON HIS IPOD.

I’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HE WOULD USE THE MONEY FOR…IF HE ASKED FOR MY LUNCH MONEY, I WOULD JUST THROW IT AT HIM AND RUN AWAY.

THE MYSTERY OF AN ORCHID…

 

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HA!  DID YOU THINK THERE WOULD BE A MYSTERY INVOLVED IN THIS IMAGE? 

THE MYSTERY IN THIS FLOWER IS ALL IN MY MIND. FOR SOME REASON, I FEEL LIKE ORCHIDS ARE HIDING SOMETHING. THEY SEEM TO BE  SLY, NOT WILLING TO LET US SEE ALL OF THE BEAUTY THAT THEY POSESS…BUT THE ORCHID IS NOT A “MEAN” FLOWER…IT IS KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE SOME OF IT’S BEAUTY WITH US.                                                                                                    NOW A CONE FLOWER…THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT ANIMAL…(FLOWER)…THEY SEEM LIKE A MEAN FLOWER TO ME…JUST WHEN THEY START TO LOOK ALL NICE AND LOVELY AND YOU’RE THINKING, “MY, WHAT A PRETTY FLOWER”…IT DECIDES IT DOESN’T LIKE THE SUN AND IT DRIES UP AND DIES.

YOU DIDN’T KNOW FLOWERS HAD PERSONALITIES, DID YOU?…WELL, NOW YOU KNOW.